A little bit of funny...

Mark...This is for you...

A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming,

"PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers.

The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the toaster, and he also told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screamed,

"PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES, PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!"

and doing so draws an even bigger crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that?"

In a huff, the woman says,

"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!!"

The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!

Nada

I have absolutely nothing to say... well maybe one thing...TGIF!

I just wanted you to know that I do check this on a regular basis.

Here's a question...Is anyone considering going Beta? Have you seen this option on the home page for Blogger? What is it?

Sex and Ghosts

Last night was a wonderful success in the bedroom. He brought this little thing that works AMAZINGLY!!! The cost is low enough and it works so good that I am considering purchasing one for everybody I know. At least every woman. No one should live with out one of these things. I considered posting a picture of it because it looks innocent, but I don't know...what do you think? (Like someone reads this to answer)

Right now I am tidying up a little before I leave tonight. We have a couple of groups coming to have an overnight tour of our haunted jail and I'm the guide. It should be a lot of fun. I've had weird stuff happen to me up there, so hopefully they will find something. My office is located in the Old Jail (in case you didn't know that). In 1913 some people died in a flood trapped in the basement, 1932 a woman starved herself to death in her cell over 4 months time, and we have the original hanging rope for the county actually hanging from the ceiling in the room where the men's cells were. I have taken pictures in the jail and had what some people call orbs in them, but I always just thought it was dust or light. After a little explanation on two of the photos, and the way they had moved from frame to frame while I was not moving, I kind of think it might be something. Who knows...I'm just going to be open-minded tonight and have a good time. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow or Monday. Sancho might come back to stay again tomorrow.

Since no one reads this...

I guess I can gripe since I am talking in to thin air. I feel like the tree in the forest no one hears fall. I guess I'm the neglected step-child.

I'll update no one on my personal life. When it rains it pours. My sex life was a desert and now the clouds won't go away. Not that it's a bad thing. Last weekend I had my little retreat thing happen, Paul is calling and wants to come see me and my sancho is coming tonight with a surprise for me. Lord only knows what that will be.

Tomorrow I will be spending the night at work. We have a paranormal group coming to investigate the building. It should prove to be interesting, to say the least. If anyone is paying attention to this...Tune in Sunday for the update.

Very Gross!!!!!

Every since I got back this weekend there has been this weird smell in my house. Yesterday I had it pinned down to the kitchen area. Now, I have a large kitchen, fit for entertaining, so that's not saying much that it was confined to that area. It still needed some research. This morning I sniffed around and though it might be coming from the pantry, maybe I had some potatoes go bad...Nope. I thought it might be the garbage disposal. The last thing I put down it was a lemon and some salt to clean it, so it wasn't that. This evening I got to sniffing around and zoned in to the stove. After much investigating and dismantling the majority of my stove (I mean I got out the power tools on that bad boy)...I discovered the dead mouse in my stove. How in the hell he got in there is a great mystery. I have a gas stove. It is not possible to lift the range top. I had to take off the front where the knobs are to get him out. I was totally grossed out and I don't know how I will overcome this nasty occurrence. I got physically ill from this, and it takes a lot to get me queasy. Cooking in my kitchen will be put off for a while. I have gone through and cleaned everything with clorox clean-up and then sprayed it all down with clorox hard surface spray. I am completely repulsed that there was a mouse in my home. I have no idea how I will sleep tonight.

It's times like this that I desperately need a man around. I would have had someone help me take care of the problem, then protect me from all of the other mice of the world. Maybe we could have had some great sex and it would make me completely forget about it all together.

Hmph......
Of mice & men.....
Why can't I have the men instead of the mice.
Figures.

the perfect tree

When I was a little girl, all of the kids I knew wanted to be

doctors, ballerinas, cowboys and policemen...Stuff like

that...When they grew up. I have always been different. I

have never gone with what everyone else wanted. When

people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up,

I would tell them..."I want to look all over the world for

the perfect tree." I still have what it looks like in my

head. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. As a

child you draw the tree with the thick, solid, perfect,

brown base, and the perfectly proportionate round green

top. Sometimes it bore fruit and other times it was just

there as a place for the birds in the picture to sit.

I wanted to find it,

and you know something

funny, I still want to find

it. Anytime I travel I

look for it. An adult

once asked me what I

would do when I found

it. I told them I would

take a picture. Maybe I

was an aspiring photo-

grapher as a child. That

must be why I carry my camera

with me everywhere I go. I will find it someday.